Thankfulness Part I, or: "If it looks like a duck..."

Whenever we are sitting in church, especially in a really powerful service where the presence of God is almost physically tangible, I am sometimes struck with the memory of a sermon that my cousin, Pastor Rich Price, shared with our church many years ago. I don't recall the scripture reference that he used, but I do remember a little story he told. Forgive my memory, I'm going to tell it how I remember it. It went (something) like this:

Once upon a time, there was a little country church. But this was no ordinary church. It was a church of ducks. Every Sunday they would waddle from their ponds with their families. Church would start, the ducks would quack and tap their webbed feet to the music, then they began to raise their wings in praise. By the time the service was at it's peak, the ducks were flapping their wings and flying around the sanctuary. They were full of joy! They rejoiced in this feeling of thankfulness! God had done so much for them. He had brought their chicks into the world safe and happy. He had provided ponds for them to live in. He had kept them safe and provided plenty of food. God was with them always. How could they not fly around the altar in praise and thanksgiving? As they prayed, they quoted scriptures of power and authority, like 1 John 4:4 ("Greater is He that is in me that he that is in the world"), Mark 16:18 ("they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover") and 1 Samuel 17:47 ("...For the battle is the Lords..."). Then service would wind down, the ducks would visit with their friends and talk about their blessings and how good the Lord is. Then they waddled home to their ponds. They waddled through their week. They talked about how their ponds weren't big enough. They talked about how they were tired of eating the same thing. Their chicks were getting on their nerves. God seemed so far away. By the time the end of the week came around, they had forgotten that feeling from their Sunday service. They had stopped rejoicing. They waddled everywhere and wondered why they didn't feel like flying. Life had gotten in the way and made them forget about their joy. They forgot about the power that God had given them. Because of this, they didn't act or look any different from the ducks that didn't know the Lord.

This may not have been EXACTLY how Rich told the story, I'm sure he told it much better than I did. But the point remains the same: that feeling that comes when you are around the altar, that joy, that faith, that doesn't have to leave you when church service is over! Don't let life get in the way of your joy! Things may not be 'perfect' in your life. You might not have the job you want or the car you want. Your house may not be big enough for you (I am totally speaking to myself here!).

The last couple of years has brought so many changes to my life. Bryan and I made the decision to return to our (my) roots and be part of the church that I grew up in. We lost my Gran. I made a career change. We branched out and made a lot of new friends. We had a baby! All of these things changed our lives completely! We have had our hardships, but we find ourselves blessed. I try to be as thankful as I can be, but I've found myself being, not necessarily ungrateful, but dissatisfied with a lot of things in my life. I wanted another baby, and the Lord gave us Roland, and I am so thankful for him! But now our house is too small, formula and diapers cost too much, we had to get a larger car, we had to add a bedroom. I wanted a different job so that I could be at home with the kids more and not have to work evenings and weekends, and the Lord provided me with an opportunity to work within our school system. But the pay is less, we can't afford any extras, we're falling into debt, and daggone it I'm spending WAY too much time with my children!! Does someone want to take them for a while? I need some alone time!

You see? These things that I wanted, that I prayed for were given to me. But I find myself dissatisfied anyway. I'm too busy focusing on what I WANT, instead of what the Lord has provided. Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will supply every need of yours, according to his riches in glory in Jesus Christ", and earlier in the chapter we are told to not be anxious for anything, but to bring our requests to God with THANKSGIVING. Not dissatisfaction. Are my needs taken care of? Yes! I have a home to live in, a car to drive, beautiful, healthy children and a husband that takes care of me. Hebrews 13:5 tells us to keep our lives free from the love of money and to be content with what we have. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to trust in the Lord. That's so hard for me to do sometimes. It's hard to wrap my mind around it. I have to really simplify it for myself: Do my children worry about having a home to live in? Where their next meal will come from? They don't even give these things a second thought! With God's help, their mama and daddy take care of their needs. So how much more should I trust that God has my world in His hands?

I don't want to leave my worship, praise and thankfulness at the altar. It needs to follow me wherever I go.

I don't usually post things this heavy...

Yesterday at our church was Missions Sunday where we give a special offering for our missionaries and are given updates on their progress or setbacks in their prospective countries. Our Assistant Pastor, Bro. Danny Lytle, made a statement that I have heard many times before: "Some give by going, some go by giving." I thought to myself, "I am so glad that God hasn't called me to the mission field because I am a total wuss and can't even imagine the hardships involved." Then Bro. Danny mentioned the mission statement for the United Pentecostal Church International (which is the organization that we belong to), that I guess I'd either never heard or never paid any mind to. It is: "The whole Gospel, to the whole world, by the whole Church." Again, I had a little inner monologue going on..."Huh...I guess that means me, too." I've never been one to shout from the rooftops what I believe or how I feel about certain things. I like to be peaceful and get along with everyone without making too many waves. I never get involved in political or religious discussions, partly because I don't want anyone to see my lack of knowledge in certain areas, but also because I'm a wuss and I don't want to be challenged. I don't like to 'put myself out there' because I don't like rejection.

I saw a video on youtube a while ago that pricked conviction in my heart. Conviction that I successfully pushed down for a long time. I came across this video again today and I can't ignore it this time. It is a video of entertainer and well-known atheist Penn Jillette speaking about a man who gave him a Bible. In the video, he makes the statement, "How much do you have to HATE somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?" He likens not witnessing to someone to not pushing them out of the way of an oncoming truck. This man, who also says that he KNOWS there is no God, put more conviction in my heart than I have ever had before. If I love someone, truly care about someone, how could I NOT tell them about Jesus? It all comes down to my self-consciousness.

Just in the 3 generations of Pentecostal doctrine that I have witnessed (from my grandparents, down to my first cousins), there are 7 ministers on my mom's side of the family and 2 on my dad's side. I think that I've always been intimidated by this. I was not born into my family, I was adopted when I was just 3 days old. I think the intimidation stems from seeing the ministry as a blood-born birthright. Of the members of my family who aren't ministers, almost all of them have had some sort of other calling: music, teaching, etc. I'm not a preacher. I'm not a scholar. I have no musical ability (as the people who sit in front of me in church are SO well aware of!). I've never really felt 'a calling' on my life.

Fast forward to the past few days. I have come across so many scriptures about being a witness...and then I read Acts 22:15: "For you will be a witness for him to everyone of what you have seen and heard." OK. So I may not have been born into my family, but I was PLACED by God in this family for a specific purpose. I may not have a human, blood-born birthright, but as a saved child of God, I have the same spiritual birthright as the most notable, respected and knowledgeable ministers. Maybe my purpose is just to raise Godly children. Maybe my purpose was to meet Bryan and introduce him to the church. Maybe my purpose is to serve as a testimony that you don't have to have your life together before you give it over to God. I'm not perfect, and I've not lived a perfect life. I can promise you that anything that I have to say will come from a place of humility and love.

The way that Bryan and I have chosen to live our lives has turned family against us. Blood relation that we love and care for. But considering the big picture, we are living how we feel convicted to, and believe with all of our hearts that we are called to live this way and we will obey the calling that God has put on our lives, and that's what matters to us more than anything else. My purpose isn't to step on toes or hurt feelings or thump the Bible in anyone's face. Anything that I say (type), I am doing so out of love for my friends, family and the human race in general, but most of all for conviction of MYSELF. I take the Bible seriously...even the parts that step on MY toes. I'm not flinging verses at anyone because I think I am better, and anyone who truly knows me, knows that to be the truth.

 I am an honest, sane person who, based on the belief that I have, is just trying to keep those that I love from being hit by a truck. I'm not trying to force anything on anyone. Take my thoughts, and do with them as you will.